Not welcomed.

If there's so much I must be, can I still just be me.
The way I am? Can I trust in my own heart?
Or am I just one part of some big plan?

A thousand things just run in one's mind, & it gets harder & harder to escape each moment one starts running away from everything because one can get so tired of it all. One starts to think that everything is okay again, happy & great as a matter of fact. But no, it's all the opposite. When one enters a place she once thought was home, no one welcomes her back. She probably was expecting too much or maybe that's just what she has to live through everyday. Do people really care? Are they putting on a show? Or is she the one who is just assuming all of this? As if it's a nightmare which she has to fight through everywhere she goes, everything she does. No one will know how she feels, who will see her cry because she doesn't want to be a burden to others, to show that she is weak. But maybe sometimes it's okay? What if it's not? Every time she tries to be happy, to push away all negativity that comes her way, it lasts for only a while. It's like running around a mild berry bush while getting pricked by thorns all over again, without fail. As much as she doesn't want to give up, she gives up. I give up.